Be That Change

Tonight I made this poster because i have only been able to think about this quote for about 36 hours. It is constantly running through my mind. and i am seeing it everywhere. I remember the first time i ever saw it in my life. My junior year of high school i was sitting in my English class.... not paying attention... as always, and i saw this magnet on one of my teachers filing cabinets. For the rest of that class all i could think about were all of the crazy ideas i had on changing the world. I looked at that magnet everyday for about 4 and 1/2 months. I changed completely how i started looking at the world around me.

This year when i arrived at Railton i was walking through the hallway to get to the elevator and i was looking at all of the pictures and quotes on the wall. This quote by Gandhi happens to be in a place i pass everyday. Its amazing to me how those things work out.

This weekend I went to an young adult retreat in Pennsylvania. The whole week end focused on a verse in Micah that says to act justly and to love mercy

and to walk humbly with your God. I think this verse so completely goes with the words that Gandhi spoke. The only way we will be able to make a change is if we are applying these 3 guidelines. I heard so many amazing stories this weekend about young people doing crazy awesome things. I heard of organizations making a huge difference I saw with my own eyes God showing the young people where he wanted them and what he wanted them to be doing. Calling out to them and providing opportunities to make a difference. I have a lot to think and pray about this week... and longer. I know God is calling me to do something that will change the world. Just asking Him what it is. I know it will be great.

What is God calling you to do? Has he placed a burning passion on your heart and you have been too afraid to take action? Please don't back down, God is right there waiting for you to step out and trust Him.

YOU CAN BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD!

The Desert Song- Hillsong

A friend reminded me today of this song. Its one of my favorites. And i see it very much the cry of my heart at this moment. Thanks Sarah!


Verse 1:
This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

Verse 2:
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

Chorus:
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

Verse 3:
And this is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

Bridge:
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

Verse 4:
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've recieved I will sow

Missing my friends...

Tonight is going a little different then I expected. I spent most of it watching movies and messing around on facebook. Until about 5 minutes ago. I went on my friends profile and looked at this one photo that she made up for me this past year. You should know a little about our friendship...

We met at camp 4 summers ago. She is from New Zealand. In 2008 i knew we would be friends forever. God truely blessed me that summer with a great friend i knew i could count on to be there for me. When we left camp that summer i was really having a hard time with the fact that i wasnt going to see her again. But we stayed in contact as best we could. The next year she came back to the US and made it to my graduation and then came back to camp! I was so incredibly excited. We got to have 2 great summers together. Saying good bye that summer was even harder.  I havent seen since then except for skype. It doesnt normally bother me. We talk more then i talk to most of my friends here in the states. For some reason tonight it is bothering me. I have felt kind of alone being here at school away from everyone from home. Now i am always away from Amy but its different now. It has been 2 years since we could hang out together. She is my closest friend and lives on the other side of the world. I guess i just dont get it. I guess it has always been on my mind, how can i make friends on the other side of the world and but have the personality that friendship usually means being close to someone? I often ask God why Amy lives so far. I thank Him often for our friendship and other days I find myself angry that we are so far apart.  This may all sound weird to who ever is reading this... and i am sorry if it is but this is my blog about whats in my mind. Right now my mind and my heart is hurting.
I dont want this sound like i mop around all day crying about being far from my friend, and i dont want to sound pathetic either But in all honesty i am lonely. I find myself day after day spending the evenings hoping that someone will text me or chat with me on facebook or even stop by my place. Its hard being away. Now i also dont want you to think i am not enjoying my time here at school, I am. So much. and the people here are great. as you have probably read in my other posts. But its not the same. I miss my friends. I miss my family.

Jesus, be my center

Today I took part in a half night of prayer.... I didnt pray for half the night but i did pray for a solid hour. I dont think I have ever prayed that long. I dont think I have ever felt God more present in my life then I did tonight. He revealed to me so many things in my heart that have been holding me back from a solid firm relationship with Him. There are so many thing I have let take over my life and shape and define who I am. I want to be defined in Christ. I want Him to be enough for me. I dont want the things of this world festering around in my mind any more. I know that when the world is telling me one thing God is on the other side telling me not to listen. He is calling out my name for me to turn my ears to Him. This past week I have really had some big struggles in myself. I have been angry a lot and i have felt alone and stupid. Over and over I let it take control of my days. Over and over it shaped my attitude. OVER AND OVER I let satan take hold of my mind. Tonight I surrendered those things. TONIGHT God changed my mind. I know my anger is a sin, and that if I continue to let it define me i will not be able to let it go. I know that I am not alone. I know that Christ is right by my side. I know that I am not stupid. I know that I find wisdom in the Lord.

I am so thankful for the work that God is doing in me. I am thankful that I can write about it here for you to read. I am thankful that I have a God that is so much BIGGER then any of my problems.

"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love." Romans 5:3-5

Gx3 Gods Grace Gifts

1 Corinthians 1:3 says this
"May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace."

For the past week in my spiritual formation class we have been talking about God's grace. There are so many times that I find myself forgetting the things that God has placed right in front of me. I wrote a list this week to challenge myself to see those gifts. I have been so blessed in my life. This past year alone has been incredible. i wanted to share with you all just a few of God's Grace Gifts that I have recieved in this past year.

I lived in a home that loved the Lord. Living with the Crowells was a huge change for me. The love and grace and compassion that was poured out on my life through them was overwhelming. The family welcomed me in with open arms. I grew more living there then I believe I ever have. Now that being said it was only through God's grace that he made that possible. I couldnt be more thankful to all of the new family i now have because of that move. Their acceptance for a broken young adult is humbling. Their love for a child not their own is eye opening and exactly what Christ spoke about so many times while talking about helping the poor and the weak and the broken, when you are doing that you are serving the Lord. What Christ like examples this family has been to me.

Another BIG grace gift has been coming to Railton. There were a few times in the year when i doubted that I was going to get in and then even when I knew I got in I was doubting God's will for me being here. God has shown me so many things. Now that I am here there is not a doubt in my mind that this is where I am supposed to be. I feel as though I could talk about this place forever. The community is a huge part of my assurance. I was so angry this summer with God. I thought that he was taking me out of this Godly household that i had been living in and putting me into an unknown horrible scary environment. BUT I WAS SOOOOO WRONG. God knew exactly what he was doing, and i really let satan take a strong hold on my thoughts. I was scared i was going to get here and be a loser and an outcast. Now granted there is only 2 students here right now but that si really how God provided for me. I cant be the outcast. Mel and I are on equal grounds. Everyone here is so great and such a good example to me. I dont think i could be in a place with better leaders then what I have here. Steve and Sharon and Allison are amazing. Maybe i put them kind of on this pedistal but in honesty I do it in awe. I see God's grace and love shining through every bit of them. I have been so incredibly humbled being here.

Now though I have only listen two in depth I could list to you thousands if I had the space. Everyday I find my self realizing more and more that God's grace is enough for me. I want to list a few other things and i wont go in depth but i just want to get your minds going...

Family
Peace
Love
FORGIVINESS
Beautiful weather
God's patients
Good friends
Support

I want to challenge you blog readers, make your own list of God's Grace Gifts. But dont just make it and put it aside. meditate on it. Thank God for those things. Praise Him for his blessings he pours on YOUR life everyday! send me a comment or a message on facebook or an email with something that has been a blessing to you. A grace gift from God. I challenge you if you have facebook to post your status as a grace gift you have recieved and then challenge your friends to do the same. Let the gifts from God that others have recieved be a God Grace Gift for you!

When I am weak...

I wanted to post this picture as a reminder to myself for when I am feeling weak. It this point in my week I am tired and weak. Satan is working overtime to get at me. Trying to remember that Christ will give me all of the strength I need. Please be praying for me. Dealing with things hasn't gotten any easier. I am getting worn out fast and honestly I am beyond emotionally drained.