Yesterday my school director, challenged Mel and I to write a note expressing the awesome things in which God was doing in our lives. The things we have conquered with Gods strength and the things God is continually growing in us. So i decided to take the challenege as an encouragment to you and as a smack in the face to me, since i never actually sit down and think about these things. Well i suppose we should start from the beginning of this school year, I was absolutely petrified to come here for school. I had so many anxieties about being away from home and not having my friends around me and being in school again. But God shot all of those out of the water. Immediatly when i got here i felt like i was at home. He has surrounded me with loving friends and those which i would call family. I am so thankful that i am here.
Since then i know God has been working in my life non-stop. I see Him doing so much. I have conquered fears and done new things and met so many wonderful Godly people. I know God is working in my heart so much.
Part of this year I was at an internship and i was home, there were things that happened that really hardened my heart. I didnt feel anything coming back to school. I was angry with God and i couldnt seem to shake it. Recently i was talking with a friend about the things that were on my heart, the things i was worried about and the things that consumed my every thought. I didnt really realize how much stuff was built up. After talking through it I felt like i needed to do something more about it. You would think that my first action would be to pray about it. But it wasnt, that was the last thing i did. On wednesday we had a chapel and through out the whole service i felt God calling me to give it all over to Him. The person speaking was starting an alter call, and to be honest i have no idea what she said or what it was even for, but i went up and just sat in Gods presence. I didnt know what to say for what seemed like forever, but eventually the words just started pouring out of my head. I was so sorry. I felt so dumb for blocking God out for so long and i knew all of it could have been fixed sooner if i had just gone to God first instead of building up anger and letting my heart turn cold. People came around and prayed with me a few times which was nice, but even after their prayers and words of encouragment i still couldnt move. i felt like i just needed to completely fully surrender it all to God before i could go anywhere, and i needed to do it on my own. When i was finished i felt such a weight lifted. I felt i needed to cry for days since i hadnt in months. i know the weight lifted thing can be a cliche but it actually felt like that. I know i am free from those feelings because CHRIST has set me free.
Well i went from the beginning to the end really fast but i think those are the biggest things that God has done for me. I am very much looking forward to what else the Lord has in store for me here at school. The opportunities are endless and i know that there are going to be things so life changing, that bring me to my knees in awe, and i know there will be other moments when i am brought to my knees because i wont have the strength to stand but in those moments i know that God, whether He is just spending some time with me or he is giving my legs an energy boost to stand again, isnt going anywhere and i know He wont ever leave me. I know trials are going to come but He wont ever leave me. I know life is giong to get hard but i know He wont ever leave me. I know that i am going to get tired but i know He wont ever leave me. I know there will be times when i feel like my world is falling apart but i also know He wont EVER leave me. I know he is there to rejoice with me and cry with me. I know that everyday He will continue to bless me everyday even when i dont acknowledge it. I know that He will continue pour His grace out on my life. I know He loves me and no matter how far i push from Him i know He will always have His loving arms open for me to come back.
